In that vein, I have tried my best to find some way of reaching out to him to maintain a civil relationship for the sake of the emotional well being of the children. It has been for naught.
Truth be told it has been HELL and the intensity increases everyday.
Everything that should not be done when parents are divorcing, he has done without regard to the resulting damage to the children, our families, or ourselves. But what should I have expected? I suffered quietly for many years under the burden of verbal and emotional abuse. In all of those years, I begged and pleaded for family counseling to make things better. He made numerous unkept promises, and outright lied over and over about many things for years. Everytime I threatened to leave, he would cry for forgiveness, breaking my resolve, only to revert back to a screaming, cussing, name-calling, judgmental monster minutes later. I died a little with every insult, every put down, and derogatory name. That's why my blog is tagged- "rising to the surface." I'm trying to climb out of the coffin I found my heart buried in.
I can't tell you how many times I wished he would have just hit me. It would have made things easier. Bruises and black eyes can't be ignored. Scars on the heart and soul on the other hand.... not so easy to see.Things took a dangerous turn last April when he declared "I will make it my life's mission to destroy you. You don't exist." (WTF!? Me? Great, I'm only the mother of your children!) That's why there is a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) in effect right now. But as my attorney explained to me, since I was too chicken to get one before when the threats were really bad, they may not give me a permanent one. So I blog my life stories now. Because we all know a TRO is just a piece of paper and I want you guys to know.... I existed.
But that will be a story for another day. It is still ongoing, and too painful to discuss. However, you can read Kelly's story here. It is almost a mirror of mine, except he did actually call me those things. At least her husband started to realize what he was doing. I pray my Crazy Ex will also.
Maybe one day, I will be bravely unsilenced. Like her.