Friday, November 27, 2009

Show Me the Love


Since joining the Bloggy World I have had an opportunity to come across other fantastic blog writers, who like me, are single mothers, raising children and trying to find their way through life after divorce.

I read this quote today which struck me with heartfelt truth:

‘Stop talking about love. Every jerk in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to
the people you say you love. That's what matters. That's what counts.’
“A bit cynical, yes. But true. True love manifests itself in action, in changes in behavior, in selflessness and service. Just saying you love someone isn't enough… I'm just saying that for me, if you really love someone, you show them in behavior.” Nikki from Have Joy .
I struggled a great deal with this concept during my previous marriage. I worked very hard to honor the commitment I had made to my husband and marriage, and couldn’t understand why that honor and commitment was not returned. How can one say “I love you” then shred your heart ten seconds later? Or make promises to change the toxic behavior destroying the home, then do nothing to save it?

Nothing.

I used to find fault in myself, asking those self-pitying questions- “What was it about me? Why couldn’t he love me the way I needed him to love me?” Meanwhile, everything was spiraling out of control and the spirit of the home and the children were withering away in pain and despair.

Making the choice to leave was very difficult, despite the lies, the horror and operatic drama. Honoring the commitment to my marriage had become an unbalanced, idealistic burden that was crushing me as I struggled to bear it alone.

Then it finally, and blessedly dawned on me… it really wasn’t mine to carry alone.

I agree with you Have Joy. Talk is cheap. You have to show me the love.

My future relationships won’t demand anything less.









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